When Dating Chinese Women Knowing Chinese People and Society Helps

| April 14, 2012

Dating Chinese Women - Know Their CultureIf you have been dating Chinese women online for some time and are really interested in having a charming Chinese partner for the long term then it is imperative that you acquaint yourself with Chinese society and its norms. No matter where you ultimately choose to settle down with your Chinese lifepartner, she will always carry some aspects of her culture within her heart.

Individualism is essentially a western concept and almost all Chinese believe in a collective society. They strongly need group affiliation even if it is limited to their family, school and work group. Ever peaceful and harmonious, an average Chinese woman will maintain decorum so as not to cause public embarrassment to herself as well as to others.

Most Chinese people willingly vanquish their own feelings, emotions and needs for the greater good of the family and group they belong to. Great emphasis is paid on politeness and silence is used as much to convey ones feelings as are words. For instance, if a person disagrees with what the other is saying, instead of voicing his difference publically he will remain silent. It helps in sorting out matters amicably as nobody loses face no matter which way the matter is settled.

For a Chinese, ‘Losing Face’ is worse than death itself. They would rather suffer emotionally, physically or financially than lose face in front of their friends, family and acquaintance. Family honor ranks over everything else, even personal aspirations and happiness.

As a westerner, you are likely to miss the non-verbal communication with Chinese but that amounts to missing a major part of the conversation. Their constant desire for harmony and group dependence makes them rely on facial expression, tone of voice and posture more than verbal communication to express their feelings.

If you have ever wondered why most Chinese maintain impassive expressions while speaking, it’s because the true meaning of what they speak is often garnered from their expressions and not words. Frowning while someone is speaking is a sign of disagreement and staring into the other person’s eyes is considered disrespectful.

If you are going to visit your Chinese lady’s family, make sure you carry appropriate gifts and greet the oldest person first. “Ladies first” is not applicable in China. A handshake is an accepted form of greeting with foreigners. Don’t be surprised or offended if your hosts look at the ground while greeting you. Don’t try to be friendly by using their first name. Stick to surnames and honorific titles as long as people do not advice you otherwise.

With their wonderful sense of humor Chinese will readily laugh at themselves if they are comfortable with you. Reciprocate and laugh at yourself if the circumstances demand so.

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Category: About Chinese Women

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