Money makes the world go round, and so the saying goes. This is true for almost any culture, old and new. In China, the influence of money seems to permeate nearly every aspect of society. When dating Chinese women, many foreign men often feel amazed, frustrated, and/or turned off by how often the subject of money comes up.
In a lot of situations, greed plays a big part when it comes to money. But while dating Chinese women, most talks about money is not always about gold-digging and greed. There are many layers to the Chinese fixation on money, and at the very bottom of these is simple economic security.
Economic security is not so simple, of course. The fact is, while China has the second biggest economy in the world, this doesn’t automatically translate to economic security for the bigger part of its population; additionally, the government has yet to put in place a welfare system that will provide a reliable safety net for its people. Marriage becomes more of a financial deal between two people and their families because it’s one of the better means by which they can ensure economic security.
Especially in the current economic climate, when economic wealth is spread out so unevenly; when the costs of living far exceed a worker’s income; when basic needs, such as healthcare, become more of a luxury an average family can barely afford; money being a huge factor when tying the knot actually makes a lot of sense.
In today’s Chinese dating market, many women of China are looking beyond just practical considerations when searching for a mate. But while they also desire love in marriage, it can be difficult to escape the demands of modern reality and those of traditional expectations.
A foreign man dating Chinese women with the sole purpose of finding his ideal Chinese wife must understand the motivations behind a woman’s interest in his finances, his job, and whether or not he owns a house and a car. Everywhere in the world, there are gold-diggers and China is no exception; but not every woman he meets that is looking for financial security in a marriage is motivated by greed.
He must also learn to accept that money may always play a prominent role in a future relationship. His future girlfriend or wife may be very fixated on how money is spent; she and/or her family may require him to buy a house/apartment first, or to offer dowry in a different way; she may expect him to help in the care of her parents; she may want to have a say in his career decisions. These situations are not an inevitability when dating Chinese women; but they are considered normal in Chinese relationships.
Such situations do not always preclude the possibility of love. Financial considerations when dating Chinese women and in marriage are one of the many cultural challenges that a foreign man must be ready to accept and adjust to. Being open honest about and setting realistic expectations, and understanding motivations, would make any future cross-cultural relationship with a Chinese woman go more smoothly and have more stability.
Chinese dating can be a fun and very rewarding experience, especially if you’re looking for the Chinese woman of your dreams. It would be to your great benefit if you constantly try to learn as much as you can, not only about Chinese history and culture, but also the current issues affecting China, particularly those that affect Chinese women. One can find invaluable information on www.dating-chinese-women.com
Category: About Chinese Women